On Monday, September 24, 2012 I received one of the best compliments ever from the playwright, Terrence McNally, after singing at a tribute to him produced by the Westport Country Playhouse. Mr. McNally, for those who are unaware, is the playwright of some of this generations most moving theater pieces including, “Love, Valour, Compassion!”, “The Lisbon Traviata”, “Lips Together, Teeth Apart”, the book of the musical, “Kiss of the Spiderwoman” and “Ragtime”. He was an absolute joy as was the evening. However, getting to that point was a week of processing and re-evaluation.

Rewind two weeks…I received a text from friend and director-choreographer of the event asking if I’d be interested in being a part of the festivities. He mentioned the musical director whom I have known for all of her adult life and I, of course, said yes. I assumed they were asking because they wanted to have some “up and coming” talents perform some of the beautiful music of the musicals Mr. McNally brought to life. Being the new generation of cabaret and having four, count ‘em…FOUR amazing notices in the NY Times for my singing, I was certain that was the reason for asking. It wasn’t. I later learned that I was part of an ensemble of performers keeping things going around the “Big” stars. I was not amused but I am a friend with both of the people putting together this show and loyalty won out over any ego I had about doing ensemble work at this point in my life. So I stuck to my original answer and continued on my journey to Westport. I hope they have hot springs there; I may need the healing waters.

First rehearsal…the kids and me.

I walked into a rehearsal room at 6pm on a Monday night, September 17, 2012, to see my old friends working away and to see a room full of 20somethings talking “showbiz” talk. You all know how I dislike that. Part of the reason that I have fewer theatrical friends than most theater people is because actors have a tendency to be, well…theatrical, which I truly do detest. There’s nothing less enjoyable than hearing people one up each other with stories of past shows and their “good” friends, some random celebrity. I know too many people and have worked with too many stars to be hoodwinked into believing or caring about stories of regalia.

Don’t get me wrong, they were all sweet kids and very talented but I’ll keep my quiet flame and ten shows to their over talkative, first show selves everyday. Everything uttered from someone’s mouth can’t be about one’s self. (This coming from the man who is writing a blog about his own life…)

So the rehearsals were going well, I find out that I will be singing some of the Coalhouse Walker Jr. music from “Ragtime” which I love and made saying yes to ensemble more bearable.  We were all having fun except for “Lyle” who missed two days of rehearsals and then decided not to take part. One person down…may more to go. We continue with the week of rehearsals and soon another person drops out…two down. Then by the end of the week, one of the “stars” hadn’t realized that she needed to memorize one of her songs for the dance number…DANCE NUMBER, so one of the ensemble girls takes over that number. Now this girl was married to the guy who is now in a relationship with the actress on “Smash” who was on “Will & Grace”. They ended their respective relationships to be with each other. How nice for them…how nice for everyone, including the blonde bombshell who got dumped and Debra Messing’s husband…I mean, “the unnamed TV star”…allegedly. For us, the show must go on and by goodness it did!

I must say that the director-choreographer is a great talent and a sweet guy and was a joy to watch work. I’d work with him anytime. It was really nice to see his attention and intention to telling the story clearly and well. He is going to do amazing things, me thinks.

Monday morning!!! 10am…you heard me. It’s the day of the show, y’all!!!

I have passed the point of looking just any kind of way for a trip, even on a van, so I got up, showered, packed my bag and dressed like an adult. I do love a cute travel outfit. I get to our meeting location, the NW corner of 44^th street and 8^th avenue…classy.

The van arrives, I take the passenger seat and the kids load up in the rear. Vans make me claustrophobic so there really was no chance of me sitting in the rear unless Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper had been flanking me for the ride to Connecticut. We left a little after 10am for an hour and fifteen-minute drive to Westport, CT to make an 11:30am rehearsal, during rush hour on a Monday. Suffice it to say, we were late and I had to use my iphone’s GPS because the driver got lost right at the end of the trip. Again…classy!

The Westport Country Playhouse is a gem in a pristine little town. It’s the kind of place you want to go to present new works and sleepy esoteric plays and to be creative. Many have graced the stage of this theater and I hope to again someday.

The day went along easily…we rehearsed and ate, rehearsed and ate again then rehearsed a little more. Then ate again. The stars, all friends of Mr. McNally’s, arrived in the afternoon to run their segments… Marin Mazzie, Malcolm Gets, John Glover, Richard Thomas and Tyne Daly. The show begins with my voice making an introduction. I was asked to be the Voice of God, for several announcements during the program, which I didn’t mind at all. We went through segment after segment with the audience loving every moment of the evening. As we approached the end, we’d heard that there would be a secret guest appearance. Chita? Stokes? Nope, Nathan Lane. He was light and amusing like a pinot grigio purchased on a whim! Then came the “Ragtime” segment. The audience roared with applause I we stood on stage. Me standing next to Marin Mazzie, who was center, singing to the rafters. After we finished, the rest of the performers came onstage and Tyne Daly performed a monologue from “Master Class” with each of us transfixed to her as she spoke to the audience members and the performers alike. Once in a lifetime moment.

After we left the stage, Marin came up to me and asked if I’d done the role before and when I said no, she told me that I was wonderful and should do it this role everywhere. WOW! From the woman…the artist who created the role of Mother and sang, “Back to before” in a way that will make it hard for any other performer to leave their mark on it. Sheer wonder!

Once we arrived at the after party, at which we were not allowed to eat …ensemble treatment, after all, I was standing with another playwright/librettist with whom I’ve worked when Marin came up to me with Terrence McNally, himself, who told me that I was brilliant and that I should be singing that music everywhere. My heart stopped for a moment at his generosity and infectious smile. He then told me that his husband was one of the producer’s of “Cotton Club Parade” which I’ll be doing next. Apparently he whispered to Mr. McNally during the “Ragtime” segment, “He’s one of ours!” and I am!

So after a glass of prosecco and a procured bottle of Grey Goose, I got my bag cuz we were leaving! Back on the van and after a quick stop at McDonald’s for a late night snack, I was back home and went to sleep smiling at the wonder that happened to me, all because of two friends, some loyalty and some beautiful lyrics…

”Now she is haunting me, just like a melody, the only song I seem to know…Sarah my life has change, Sarah I miss you so, Sarah I did you wrong, Sarah, where did you go?”

I am moving forward, “on the wheels of a dream”! What a difference a week makes!!!

Seeking: a group to traverse the wilderness of West Virginia. Said group will sleep in a rustic cabin, start their own fires, cook over those open fires, tube down the rapids where the Potomac River meets the Shenandoah.

Doesn’t sound like me, does it?

That’s because it’s not but add in air conditioning, a heated swimming pool, lots of beer, wine and champagne, bathrooms with private shower stalls and lots of friends & laughter and it changes the possibilities considerably. I mean, add in a cashmere cardigan and khakis and it almost sounds like a scene out of a Tom Ford cinematic extravaganza.

Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. The stage of John Brown’s Raid, the beginnings of the NAACP’s Niagara movement, numerous river floodings in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and home of the annual Labor Day Kamping trip…started by my very own, Jeremiah Feather.

This year’s trip was almost not meant to be. We had planned for a weekend in Provincetown, MA with friends. Several days of sun and fun with copious amounts of alcohol. Honestly, not at all different from the weekend we had. Luckily, alcohol tastes good no matter where you chill it! Amen to that!!!

Start your engines! NYC to Washington, DC!

DISCLOSURE! I will be modifying the names of the drunks for legal purposes…except for my own and Jeremiah’s…

As with any trip planned by a gay man, we MAY have overpacked…three cars, eight people and enough food, drink and clothes for 16 campers and four cars. Still, we make it work…that’s what the gays do.

NEXT STOP, HARPERS FERRY, WV…well, not exactly. First a stop at Costco. Now, HARPERS FERRY! Well, not just yet. What could make a road trip better for me? A stop in Leesburg, VA where some substantial Civil War battle must’ve been fought but for me, it’s the home of ” The Leesburg Premium Outlet Shops”. A little pre-Kamp retail therapy at Williams-Sonoma, Burberry, J Crew and Barneys. Yes, BARNEYS!!! Ah sweet mystery of life! You may call it any other group of outlet stores but I call it kismet. I mean, not two days earlier, I saw a gentleman on my flight to NC wearing the Adam Kimmel for Carhartt navy blazer and knew I needed to purchase this jacket. $410 dollars online. I mentioned it to Jeremiah and wouldn’t ya know that we walked into “Mecca off Madison” aka the Barney’s outlet and there it was…for $150 schmackaroos! Kismet!

(Two hours laters after also spotting the dreaded Chick-fil-a and opting for quiznos instead…blank stare…we, Jeremiah, me, “Tanya” and her ciggies, are on our way!)

NEXT STOP, HARPERS FERRY!!!

Living in NYC or any big city, for that matter, you forget how beautiful the sight of rolling hills and open expanses of land can be. Hills and valleys. Mountains and streams. From sea to shining sea.

Around 4pm on Friday afternoon, Jeremiah, “Tanya” and I roll up at the KOA Kamp ground. Kamp…KOA…Kamp! Get it!?

Anyway, we pull into the Kamp ground to be stopped by the older woman at the gate. On her office window is “Betty and Ann”. We were lucky enough to encounter Betty, who was a very sweet woman who motioned us on to the main office to pick up our keys etc. And so we arrive at the main office. As I look out the front window of the car, two couples are exiting the building…two women and their shirtless, tanned and hairy husbands carrying 40s and smoking cigarettes. Yes, it’s gonna be that weekend. So I exit the car to sit in a huge rocking chair and have “Tanya” take a picture of me in front of the KOA sign. We then went inside to meet Jeremiah who was in the process of getting our Kabin assignment. “Tanya” and I, being the people we are, went in search of trinkets and what else, beer. We found it and some delicious malt drinks. As we go to pay, the very friendly desk person, David, tells us that we can order ice or whatever we need and they will bring it to our Kabin…he also tells us how delicious the Jack Daniel’s watermelon malt drinks are and smile real big at me…David was gay. Incidental but expository, nonetheless.

Have keys…now on to our Kabin. K214. Did I mention we were staying in a two story Kabin with an electric fire place, carport and air conditioning? Jed Clampett would’ve pissed his pants for this kind of luxury at the KOA. “Hills that is…swimming pools”, broadway stars.

And now we begin the unpacking process. Blankets, pillows, clothes, food, ice chests…OOH! The 15 bundles of fire wood arrive! Yes, I said 15. More unpacking. Outdoor chairs, table cloths etc… We were just about unpacked when “Mark and Jacob”, the newly titled “boyfriends”, arrive. More unpacking! More ice chests, much more beer, makings for s’mores, more chairs, pillows and bedding. ICE! We needed ice because the fridge is now full. So “Tanya” and I make our way up for visit David who immediately asked us if we liked the malt drinks…we did. So we buy five bags of ice and carry three with us. The other two will be delivered. We didn’t wanna look too “big city” by having them all delivered. We are capable people after all. We go back to our Kampsite and make the place look livable then it’s off to Friday night dinner…Long John Silver’s!!!

You can all pretend how health conscious you are and how you’d NEVER eat at a place like that, where the food is all fried in the same grease. Mmm, the deep fryer. I have to admit that Jeremiah and I were having chicken strips and fish, respectively and neither realized we were eating the other’s food until half way through. And don’t forget the crispies…and the cheese curd balls…and the mild indigestion that I’d gladly have again with a little malt vinegar!

And just when you thought the evening was winding down, The Charles Town Races ( doo dah, doo dah) was next up! This trip was shaping up nicely, if you asked me. We went to check out the second…ok third tier horses that were racing that evening. I picked horse #4 because it strutted like it was wearing high heels which I thought would make it a good runner. I was wrong. Last place Elmer, the glue horse, lost me five dollars! So I went inside to the casino. Yes, the home of old ladies and their cigarettes and oxygen tanks. Oxygen and fire….these broads have no fear and lots of pennies.
I try my hand against the slots, something I haven’t done since the night Chita Rivera told me to drink coffee after a drunken slot machining fiasco. Five more dollars gone. It was time to hit the KOA for the night.

When we got back to Kabin K214, the final three campers had arrived…”Chase”, “Tripp” and “Craig” with even more food, pillows, drink and another coffee maker! Because gay men and their lean friend and mascot for the weekend need choices. Not only did they bring more alcohol…they brought champagne and two blocks, not boxes (there is a difference) of wine. Wonders of the world! And “Tanya”, by this point, was in her weekend costume that she purchased at Walmart just for the occasion.

What happens when one man drinks five bottles of champagne? He throws up beside the Kabin and covers it with rocks. Ladies and gentleman, I give you “Craig”.

It’s only the first night. THE FIRST NIGHT!

The next day at the crack of dawn, or 8am as I call it, morning breaks, we wake, we pee, we wait for coffee and breakfast. Eggs and turkey bacon, courtesy of Jeremiah, who also made the fire…my mountain man. Back to the turkey bacon, you all know I’m a purest in many ways…I like sugar, not substitutes, whole milk not that soy crap and I like bacon as it was planned…from a pig! If I say any more, it’ll just get ugly.

Today’s excursion…BTI aka Butts Tubes, yes, you read correctly.

What camping adventure is complete without an afternoon of relaxing in tubes, floating down a lazy river with two ice chests filled with beer?! We had beer, food for lunch and blueberry fritter holes because why not and three additions to the days trip, the very friendly “Mitch” who I’d met in Miami in February and two of his friends, Ricardo and Leandro. Those are their real names and fuck ‘em…they can’t read. No, I mean it. Ricardo has a tattoo on his side which reads, “Remeber”… Yes, he has a misspelled word on his torso because neither he nor the tattoo artist recognized the mistake. I mean, really!

So after three hours on the river, after me losing three beers to the lady of the lake, after “Tanya” losing a flip flop and finding one, unfortunately the same foot, after losing THREE PAIRS of sunglasses, after spotting a way too young kid with a way too hot body, which we stopped to look at briefly until we realized he was a youth of maybe 17, we made our way out of e river and back to the bus that would take us back to our skewed reality. “Mitch” and his two muchacos fled the scene like someone had called the INS and we all headed back to our little home away from home for an evening by the fire. Someone should’ve told us that the local band, “Freak Show” would be sound checking at 5pm and playing NONSTOP from 6pm until 10pm. Four long hours of this…man who looked scarily like Eddy from AbFab meets Stevie Nicks. So as we listened to the screams of the band and the mildly drunken crowd, we sat by the fire and popped jiffy pop. For the record, in order to pop popcorn over an open fire, you must have some rhythm, the same rhythm one usually reserves for more personal moments…it was highly sensual. So we ate, drank and fell asleep.

Good night KOA, good night our tea party neighbors, good night obese 8yr old boy who could barely walk without hyperventilating…good night.

Sunday! It’s rainy and the fire won’t start…it took us almost three hours to go from smoke to fire…Smokey the bear would have had quite a Kiki watching this. I’ve literally blocked out any events that happened during most of this day. I only “remeber” hours sitting in the rain by the fire before we journeyed over the Harpers Ferry to tour the towns several historic buildings. It really was a lovely experience. We forget how the landscape of a town and it’s people can change over a century. Anyway, after dinner in town, we found ourselves back by the fire, drinking, drinking, drinking and laughing cuz that’s what friends do. Good times!

Good night KOA, good night our tea party neighbors, good night friends, good night obese 8yr old boy who could barely walk without hyperventilating…good night!

Monday morning at the crack of dawn…8am, it’s Labor Day!

Start packing up. As at the end of every trip with friends, it seems that the race was on to get packed, figure out what belonged to whom and get our asses back home before the vortex closed up for good. So, after packing and unpacking and replacing vehicles and figuring out who was riding with whom and what we were throwing away…don’t worry, the beer was saved! Cue the angels voices.

So we hug, kiss and laugh a few more times before everyone piles into three cars and set their sights on next year’s trip…anybody got a portable DirectTV satellite?