Ok…take a deep breath…

Over the past several months I have thought long and hard about my place in the battle we currently face, in our country. The truth in our feelings about who we are as a country and the truth about who we are and want to be when it comes to our own religious beliefs.

I, first, had to really consider my place when I initially heard that Truett Cathey, the founder of Chick-fil-a had given money to a foundation that believes in traditional family values…which was fine. I mean, who doesn’t believe in traditional family values, if the circumstances allow them.

I, later, cautioned myself about stating my beliefs…because like vocal technique, religion is a very personal thing, when my home state of North Carolina chose to be closed minded, as a whole, when voting for equal marriage rights for gays living in that great state.

I, once again had to regroup when it became common knowledge that Dan Cathy, son of Truett, had given millions of dollars of their customers money to an organization that openly speaks against gay marriage and gay rights of any kind…in the name of Christianity.

And last week, when a young girl was nailed to the proverbial cross when she unknowingly took a picture of a #1 meal from Chick-fil-a because she thought she was standing up for her beliefs, not knowing that it was condemning many of her peers, I knew it was time to state my opinion on the matter.

Somehow, my voice is one that holds some weight and I hope that now and in the future I will help someone to consider the other option…the other “white meat” when making choices that will change the lives of others.

I was raised in a Christian household with two parents, two brothers and a sister who all love God and follow the teachings of Jesus, our Christ. I was raised in a Methodist church and sang in Baptist and Episcopal churches throughout my education. I have always loved sacred music and will, without hesitation, tell you wholeheartedly that I am a Christian. It is first on my list of attributes…first being Christian, second being black (how could I deny it) third being gifted and fourth on the list…being a gay male. Many other things follow including being truthfully critical and strong willed but the first four are most important for this moment “on my soapbox”.

As a young person in a small town in North Carolina, I always thought of marriage as a union between a man and a woman because that was all I knew. Having been to many a wedding that was short lived for one reason or another I never thought myself as the “Marrying kind” but if that’s what ya like, then have at it. I was also intrigued at an early age by the changes in wording from ceremony to ceremony…husband and wife…man and wife….love and honor…love, honor and obey.

No one seemed to care that, what we consider, the true text of the bible has changed when it comes to the women no longer being considered a lesser creature or chattel or that she is no longer obliged to obey her husband. Should the woman not be subservient to the man? Not if he intends to eat and enjoy the fruits of married life. We have somehow progressed and grown as a Christian society without the walls of the church crumbling because women are now thought of as equal.

So why so different with gays? The bible tells us…ME, that a sin is a sin. The sin of fornication is as much a sin as the act of sodomy and because fornication leads to pregnancy doesn’t make it ok…Psalm 51:5 “For I was born a sinner, yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.” And yet, God still loves us and Jesus still saved us by grace from our very selves.

The union of marriage should and for many centuries, it seems, was consecrated by the church when two men of the cloth wanted to share their lives. Many of these ceremonies were called, “Office of Same-sex union” or “Order of uniting two men”.

I marvel at the idea that nearly a thousand years ago., before we came upon the entitlement of an entire class of men, the church found understanding and chose to join people who were Christians and who were taking up the banner of Jesus Christ, no matter their sexual orientation AND welcoming them into the church with all the rights that go with being a follower of Christ.

The church as we know it is not built on the firmest of foundations…our belief in God is unshakeable but we clearly know that many of our forefathers saw things differently when it came to worshipping God. The protestant churches…PRO-TEST-ant churches all believe similarly but some of their core values differ because, once again, our forefathers wanted to live the lives they chose and still be right with God. We’ve lived for generations with adulterers and alcoholics, thieves and murderers and abusers, finding solace in the church and being forgiven for their sins and allowed all the rights there unto of being a Christian including the ceremony of marriage.

Again, I ask, WHY NOT FOR GAYS?

The First amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America states, “ Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Hmmm…

So why are we concerned with the ceremony of marriage when we should be more concerned with our government mandating that every citizen should lawfully have the same rights to a civil union and lawfully covered in the same way in case of disability, death or other harms. That every couple legally and lawfully joined are covered in the same way.

Why such a demand for marriage? And why, if someone who confesses their sins and their love for Jesus, would the church turn their backs and push these people away? Because that is what many churches are doing. Is that Christ-like? I need to know for my own sanity.

I think that so many people have gotten so wound up over wanting what their parents have…long marriages with kids and a picket fence, a ceremony in a church that they have forgotten what’s really important. Years ago, I thought the fight was for equal rights from the government. No, the government has not stepped up and put an amendment in place to allow all citizens the opportunity to wed in a civil union in every state of this great land. That’s what we want, right? We want the Constitution if the United States to outweigh any state constitution and allow the protection from being prosecuted unduly.

I understand that the words marriage mean different things for different people and I have never been one to envision walking down an aisle to join with, well, anyone. It’s not me but anyone who wants to, by all means. Grab the brass ring, pardon the pun.

But it’s not a federal issue. It’s a sacred/church issue and I think we want and have always wanted a division between church and state…not only when it suits us. Republican representatives continually state how they want less government in their lives, well STOP BRINGING RELIGION INTO THE CAPITAL BUILDING!!! They’ve been voted into office to look after the welfare of each citizen of this country…not just the top 1%, not just the people who look like them and not just the people who believe like they do…”With liberty and justice for all.”

There should, indeed, be a division between church and state but it can’t be when we want it or when it benefits us. It should be clear and strong, for all to understand.

This idea that gays shouldn’t marry is despicable. And even more so is that idea that when sinners and born again Christians alike want to come to Jesus and to his church and be wash in the blood and made whole, there are men of the cloth who turn them away. Jesus told this Parable:  “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

I have to believe that the God I serve and the Christ, whose teachings I live by, welcomes each of us to with open arms despite our sins, despite our faults and loves us unconditionally and wholeheartedly…including offering to us the ceremony of marriage.

To those who don’t believe that, I ask that you re-evaluate what being a Christian is to you. You will never be asked to stand p for my sins…only I will be asked to stand up for me. For those who fear they lose something by giving the same to others…please look up the definition of selfishness and look at yourself in the mirror. For those of you who are afraid to speak up for your beliefs, no matter what they may be…get a backbone and stand up, STAND UP FOR JESUS!

For those of you who go to a church that will accept your tithes but not accept you or allow you the same membership into the church of Christ as your heterosexual brother…FIND ANOTHER CHURCH IN WHICH TO WORSHIP. Some place where they truly know the love of God and a place where you are accepted because you are a child of God.

I cannot believe for a moment that Jesus would turn away a man who wanted to give his life to Christ and follow the teachings and be a Christian…it’s just not Christ-like!

As for Truett Cathy, I wish you were alive today, so that we would really know what your intentions were when giving money to support traditional family values. Sometimes the truth gets watered down and sometimes biased, due to personal prejudices, through generations and sons.

For those who continue to eat at Chick-fil-a, each of us has to stand for what we believe is right…I won’t wear skinny jeans. They just aren’t right. For you and you’re continued support of this company, if you are a mother and going there offers you a moment of peace from screaming kids wanting chicken nuggets then by all means, buy the chicken but understand that Dan Cathy is selling hatred and bias. I don’t think you want your children learning that. It’s just chicken.

To Bailey Hanks, who has been castigated by an entire community… Gurl! Stand up for your beliefs and speak strongly but be aware of what is happening around you. You can’t walk through life with blinders on simply because you’re a pretty blonde girl. Get with the program…ANY program!

To the many people who call themselves Christians but aren’t living a truly Christ-like life, what do you lose by allowing more people to enjoy the blessed service of matrimony? You lose nothing but you gain a brother or sister in Christ…